Sunday, 10 November 2013

Hooker Monday - The Song

I've had the song in The Gift set to music! If you haven't read it, here's an excerpt:

The band burst into song, a very familiar song. Tony stiffened. It was the tune Max had been humming the last two weeks. The electric guitars wailed, the keyboard player was dancing while she pounded away and the vocalist canted his hips as he roared the words out into the crowd:

After clubbing the weekend away
I had a really sucky Monday
I wanted to scream and shout
Take it out on everyone about

I don’t want a girlfriend
And I couldn’t stand a wife
So I made arrangements
To deal with all this strife

I called this service
Said I can’t stand it anymore
I’ve got to take it out on someone
Send me a really brilliant whore


She knocked on the door
Said you called for a date, dude?
And opened up her coat
Underneath she was like, totally nude

She had on this velvet collar
And a rose grew out her bush
Then she bent over
And all I could see was tush

She sang: spank me, spank me,
Give it to me good
‘Cause once you take it out on me
You’ll be in a better mood

So if on Mondays you’re feeling stressed
Put my theory to the test
Just dial that number
And give her six of the best

She’ll sing: spank me, spank me,
Then give it to her good
‘Cause once you take it out on her
You’ll be in a better mood

     The crowd screamed with laughter and yelled to hear it again. With a flourish, the band played it twice more, with the crowd singing along with the chorus.
     “They like it!” Max whooped. “Isn’t it great, Tony?” She threw her arms around him. “I’m so happy!” She beamed at him and confessed. “You know, I couldn’t have done it without you!”
     Tony could feel a bubble of laughter rise inside him. “I’m so glad you find me inspiring,” he said humbly. “But Max, are you intending to turn my entire life into a rock opera or just the bedroom bits?”
     Max froze. “Oh no, you’re not upset, are you? I didn’t think you’d care. You always say you don’t give a stuff what people think.” She eyed him anxiously. “I didn’t mean to be indiscreet.”
     Tony stared at her. “If that’s your idea of discreet, Max, what on earth will you do next?”
     “I am writing a song called Trafficked,” Max confessed in a small voice. “But I won’t show it to anyone if you don’t want me to, Tony.”
     Tony burst into laughter. Hanging with Max was definitely fun.




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