Friday, 20 September 2013

Tom Conrad: That Russell Brand strategic marketing plan… or how NOT to market your ebook?

Today guest blogger Tom Conrad reveals his hilarious PR strategy that's built for an epic fail...   

In an attempt to sell my latest novel on Amazon, I’ve adopted a new sales strategy. It’s twofold.

Onefold:  Tweet Russell Brand.

Twofold: Tweet anyone who has a reputation as being a bit of a coxpert or altogether coxom.

You see, my new ebook: That Coxom & Blondage Affair is all about internet dating. It’s a little bit cheeky and a little bit wayward – much like English comedian Russell Brand: a silver-tongued cavalier/coxom chap if ever there was one. In fact, Russell is so cheeky and so coxom, this week saw me bombarding him with a barrage of hopefully amusing tweets (I sent 3, but for the purpose of this post allow me to descend into complete hyperbole). My plan was to forgo the strain of having to tackle my twofold option: sending 500 tweets to other random strangers; those who had a similar swashbuckling “coxpertise”.

And so I tweeted Russell.
TomConrad1980: @rustyrockets I’m not a charity; I’m not particularly worthy; I might not even be a good writer, but… US:  #coxom
Admittedly, and even as I composed my first tweet, I knew this unruly approach wasn’t exactly a plan of Hannibal contrivance (A-team, not the military commander or man-eater), and yet I guess I momentarily thought Russell would read my self-deprecating, but ultimately intriguing tweet, further clicking the link as he began to rather like the overall sound of That Coxom & Blondage Affair:

Russel Brand checking his @connect page:
‘Cor blimey, this Tom Conrad fellow has something ‘ere?! And you know what I’ll do, because I’m basically a generous sort of guy; one who believes we’re all unified beings of light and consciousness… well, I’ll put a tweet out to my 7 million followers, one for them to check it out. If even one per cent clicks and buys That Coxom & Blondage Affair, this ‘ere guy Tom Conrad (also originally from the dirty grey streets of Essex) will pocket £70,000, that is assuming he’s making 70% royalty on his ebooks.’
That’s kind of what I hoped Russell Brand might say and do.

Unfortunately… he didn’t. At least not yet. So far there’s been no RT success of viral proportions, and it very much seems – regretfully for me and my dreams of notoriety – the world and their tweeting blue bird have a similar strategy for celebrity endorsements: clogging up celebrities’ pages with similar pleas. Of course, I remain ever a naive optimist at heart and so I’ll stay naively optimistic, preparing to bombard other cheeky coxperts who might see the jolly humour in my book’s title.

Actually, perhaps I’ll see what Steve Coogan is up to?

You can buy That Coxom & Blondage Affair by Tom Conrad on Amazon USA and Amazon UK:
Follow Tom Conrad on Twitter: @tomconrad1980
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1 comment:

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